The Three of Us

Most of the time, it’s me and Sambuca.  Some of the time, it’s the three of us; our mom Tanya, Sambuca and me.  Those are the best days, when we are all together.

Then, one day, it happened.  My mom left me home all alone and took Sambuca with her in the car.

I was so upset.  I whined.  I waited.  I sulked on my pillow.

Why did Tanya and Sambuca leave without me?

Was I a bad girl?  I usually know when I am a bad girl since mom very clearly makes me aware.  Her tone goes up and she talks slowly.  There are lots of ‘No’s’ and ‘Bad Appy!!  Very bad girl.  Very, very BAD GIRL!’.

When I know I have been bad, I give her the saddest look I can muster.  I pull my ears back.  I try to give my mom kisses while she talks, but she usually doesn’t fall for it.

On this dark day, I continue to wait.

I hear a car in the driveway.  Momma is back!  Momma is back!  She still loves me.  Maybe she mistakenly forgot me here and has returned after realizing her tragic error.

The door swings open.  “Hi Appy!  I’m back!”

She comes inside and bends down to greet me.

Momma, where is Sambuca??  Where is she?

It’s like my human can read my mind.  “Sambuca is at the groomers.  We will pick up her in a few hours.”

The groomers?  What is that?

“Sambuca was all fluffy.  Every few months, she goes to get a nice haircut.  She gets a bath and looses some of her fur.  She comes back smelling so good!”  Tanya explains.

Interesting.  How bad can that be?

Sometimes, if Sambuca and I get too dirty or we roll in something we like but mom doesn’t, she tells us we are smelly and we need to get in the bathtub.  Mom will wash us, and then she dries each one of us with a warm towel.  This isn’t usually fun for Sambuca and me.  I mean, we put up with it ‘cuz we have no other choice.  Then, out comes the blow dryer.  This contraption is loud, but it blows warm air and Tanya rubs her hand on us to get the wet out.  We each get a treat after such an ordeal.

A few hours go by and it’s time to pick up Sambuca.  Tanya puts me in the backseat.  “Let’s go!”

I wait in the car and Tanya goes into a building.  The sign out front says A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E G-R-O-O-M-E-D-D-O-G-S.  Not sure what that means but, as long as Sambuca and my mom come back, I’m good.

I see them.  Mom is carrying Sambuca.  She opens the back door and sets my big sister on the seat beside me.

Hi, Sambuca!!  WOW! Momma was right, you smell very nice.

Sambuca gives me a look, “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

What do you mean?

“You will find out.”  Sambuca tells me.

I’m not worried. 

Then the day arrives, and I am in the car with mom. Sambuca stayed behind.

She parks the car and I see the same sign: A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E G-R-O-O-M-E-D-D-O-G-S. 

Gulp!

Tanya picks me up and walks toward the front door.  “It’s okay Appy.  You’re going to be just fine.  You are going for your first grooming.  You will get a nice bath and get your first hair cut!”

Hmmmmmm.  Okay lady.  How terrible can this possibly be?

We walk in and I hear other dogs.  Some are barking and some are whining.

I’m not so sure now.  I’m still in Tanya’s arms and see other dogs standing on tables. Each of them has something around their neck.  Now I’m nervous.  Where has she brought me?

I start to squirm.  Get me the heck out of here!!!  No thank you.  Me don’t need a grooming.  I am all good being fluffy and furry.

“Appy, stop that. You have to stay here.” Tanya tells me.

A lady comes out of a room. “This must be Appy.”

Nope.  That’s not me.  My name is Martha.  Wrong dog.

I look up at Tanya, begging her with my eyes to take me with her.

“Yes, it is.  She’s a little nervous.” She hands me to this stranger.

My mom just handed me off to stranger!  How can I trust her?  Who are you missy?

“Hi Appy, I am Amy.  It’s okay little one.  You mom will be back in a few hours.”  She says in a calm voice.

No. No. NO! 

Tanya starts to walk away, “Bye Appy.  I love you!”

I let out a high-pitched cry in protest.  You clearly do NOT love me!

Tanya turns around and gives me a pat on the head, “See you soon Appy.  You will be fine.”

And she is gone.  Gone.  My momma has left me. Once more, I have been abandoned.

A few hours go by. 

Hours of torture. 

TORTURE.

The bath wasn’t gentle like we get at home. It almost seemed official. I felt a little violated! Next, this scary human pulls out a tool that makes a loud buzzing sound.  I watch my coat fall to the floor. This lady has the audacity to cut off my fur!

Ouch.  Ouch! Listen Lady. I said ouch!!

The blade feels hot as it brushes my skin.  Finally, Amy takes a break and puts the razer down.

She pulls out another tool and starts cutting my beard.  As she chatters aimlessly, Amy calls them her scissors.  At least the shears on this aren’t hot.

Over and over, she tells me to stand still.

 “No biting.”  Lady, this isn’t fun for me either.  Can we wrap this up already???

Where is Tanya? 

After what seems like an eternity, the mistress of the torture chamber moves me to a dog kennel.  “I’m calling your mom now to come pick you up.”

You don’t fool me with your cheery voice. I pretty sure I have just met the real Cruella de Vil.

Yesssssssss!!! Call her. Call her now. Now!

I hide in the corner of my cell, waiting to be sprung. Finally, the door opens.  Is it her?  Is this my mom? I hope.  I pray.

It is. It is!!!  Cruella takes me out of the kennel and puts my leash on.

Momma! I run toward her.

“Hi Appy!!! Oh, my goodness!  Where is all your fur?” She doesn’t look very happy.

Tanya turns to Amy and she explains. “We had to go very short on her body because her fur was quite matted.”

My mom takes me in her arms, “Oh Appy, you do look a little funny”. She gives me a kiss. “At least you smell good.”

Tanya pays the lady who assaulted me, and we head outside to the car.  She opens the back door and there is Sambuca.

Sambuca’s eyes grow big as she looks at me.  “What did they do to you?”

I don’t know.  Is it really that bad?

Sambuca is laughing. “Yes, it’s bad, Appy.”

And that, folks, was my first grooming.

Frigg. I look ridiculous.