The Three of Us

I take after my mom, Tanya.  She’s a writer.  A writer at heart as she calls it. 

Can you imagine! She still makes To Do lists on pieces of paper and sticky notes. One time, she showed me her list. At the top of the page, she had written ‘To Accomplish’, followed by a running list a few pages long.  Lady, I thought, this is too ambitious. Other times, she will have a list of items for Saturday and Sunday.  At the top it always says walk pups at Ocean or walk pups at Shubie Park.  Sambuca and I always comes first.  This is why I love the woman.

Whenever Tanya makes these lists or does any type of writing, she uses a pencil.  She has several.  One pencil is mechanical, or so she tells me.  She pushes a button at the top occasionally while she is writing.  Sometimes I see her shake it.  What is this woman doing? 

I hear her say, “Oh oh. Out of lead, Appy.” She always searches frantically in a small blue pouch, then announces, “Found some!”

She proceeds to take her mechanical pencil apart and drops some tiny black sticks inside.  Fascinating.  Can I have some to eat, I ask.  Tanya shuts me down every time.

She puts her pencil back together, and the writing resumes.

Tanya likes to read books. Not on her tablet or phone, but real paper books. It’s fun to watch her because she likes to mark up the pages with her pencil. She draws lines under words and sometimes sketches little designs. My poor mum isn’t as young as she used to be. Often, the print in the book is too small and she puts on her glasses so she can see.  She refers to herself as vintage. She says it’s because she is old fashioned. We just smile and nod. This woman still uses compact discs for music.  She has an entire collection displayed of her favorite artists.  I have a few stories of when she plays her music loud and dances, but I’ll save that story for another time.

One day Tanya showed Sambuca and I a very special pencil.  It was black with gold detail.  “See this, girls?” In very small letters on the pencil, we could see M-O-N-T-B-L-A-N-C.

I sniffed it.  Can I bite it? I ask her.

Sambuca rolls her eyes, here we go again.  Of course not silly!  It’s Tanya’s.

“Appy, we never, never, ever attempt to eat this, okay” This woman is a mind reader.  Tanya continues, “Sambuca knows.” 

“I got this many years ago when I worked for a company in Montreal and it’s not like the plastic ones. This one is the real deal”, Tanya explains.

Yada, yada, yada. She rambles on.  “Appy. Appy! Are you listening to me? You can never ever touch this okay? It’s a special pencil.”

Yawn. Is it nap time yet?

“This has a lot of sentimental value to me.” She is looking directly at me.

Sambuca chimes in. Yeah, so basically, kiddo, don’t go near it. Don’t bite it. Don’t sniff it. And don’t even attempt to eat it.  Okay?

I nod my head at Tanya and then Sambuca.  Okay, okay. I got it. Don’t eat the pencil.

“A MontBlanc pencil is rare and expensive.  You understand, Appy?” she asks, still staring at me.

I nod again. Yes momma.  I guess the pencil set her back a lot of cash, but what do I know? I’m a schnauzer after all.  Not a banker.

A few weeks later, Tanya is out of the apartment. God knows where.  Sometimes she tells us where she goes, but not always.

I’m bored.  I jump off the love seat and sniff around a tiny table with a book and some other items on it.

Sambuca opens one eye. Whatcha doin’?

Nothing, I reply. Just looking.

My big sis is on to me already.

Looking for what exactly?

I give her a glare. I will let you know when I find it!

I get up my hind legs for a better view and something pink catches my eye.  I snatch it.

Sambuca yells at me, “No Appy! Don’t even think about…..”

Too late. I bite into it.  I’m an engineer after all.  I bite some more and spit it out. It doesn’t taste very good.

Sambuca scolds me. Stop that right now! Don’t eat that stuff, it’s plastic! If you swallow any, it could hurt your tummy and Tanya will have to take you to see Dr. Jane.

Dr. Jane???!!! THE DR. JANE???? Gulp. No thanks.

I spit everything out.  There is a huge mess on the carpet.

I remember Dr. Jane. No likey her.  She poked me with a needle.

You are going to be in big trouble, Appy! Sambuca tells me.

I shrug. I’m not worried.  I jump back onto the loveseat for a nap. Chewing the plastic thing made me tired.

After a while, we hear the car pull into the driveway and we rush to the door to give our usual happy to see you mom greeting.  Tanya is as thrilled to see us.

We all walk into the living room together.  All is great until….

“Appy? Appy! Apothic Red Nelly Maier! What DID YOU DO?”

Oh oh. I jump onto the couch. Maybe she won’t see me if I hide behind this pillow?  When Tanya uses my full name, I know I’m in trouble. And how does she know it’s me and it’s not Sambuca?

“Appy, look at me!” Tanya demands.

“What did you do to my pencil?”

Nothing. I look down.  Avoiding eye contact is the best strategy.

“What have I told you about pencils? We never, ever touch them, remember?” Tanya is now on the floor picking up the pieces.

I nod my head.  Yes, momma.  But look at the bright side of things, it’s not your….

She finishes my sentence, “Thank God it’s not my MontBlanc.”

Exactly! I wouldn’t have dared to.  Besides, Sambuca would have likely intervened.

“And look at this mess.  And why did you munch on the small tennis ball?” A short pause. “You better have not eaten any of this pencil. Worse case, you better poop it out or it will be a trip to see Dr. Jane!!!” She threatens.

I told you so! Sambuca stares at me.  My sister is always right. It’s so annoying at times.

Oh oh. I cannot recall if I swallowed any of that thing.  OMG. If so, I better poop it out soon.  Shit.  I mean that literally.  How do I make myself do a number two?

Tanya takes a closer look in the living room and looks down at me, “Did you eat anything else from the coffee table?”

Her voice goes up a notch, “Appy, I’m talk to you!”

Mom turns to Sambuca and gives her a ton of kisses on her head saying, “Sambuca is such a good girl.  She never does anything bad. She’s The Best One.” Best is emphasized.

Sambuca gives me a look, her proud look. Yes, I know she is gloating.

Sigh. I look at my mom with as much love as I can, my ears are back, and my eyes are big.  I give her the please don’t be mad at me look. I’m still a puppy after all.

Tanya falls for it every time. “Oh Appy, I cannot be too mad at you.  You’re not even a year old.”

Yeah, lady. Take it easy on me.  Sambuca has set the bar very high.  I’m doing my best, honest.

Note to self: Don’t eat anything hard and plastically ever again, especially if said item belongs to Tanya.